I got mine!!!

If you're under 30, you probably have no idea why I'm excited, but all my fellow old people remember these from the early 90s.

Also I dyed my hair pink for school and I used that cheap spray stuff and now my hair is stiff and my face and fingers are pink.

On the radio earlier they were talking about what they'd wish for if they found a genie.

It was a fun discussion but I realized--- I have no idea what I'd wish for.

Most of what I truly want is excluded in the genie rules.

- You can't wish for anyone to die. I really want my evil family members who screwed over my grandparents to just drop dead.

- You can't wish for people to love you

- You can't wish for immortality

- You can't bring people (or cats) back from the dead.

I'd want to be beautiful. I mean like BEAUTIFUL beautiful. I don't think I'm ugly or anything, but I'd want to be HOT.

But I've got a bad heart. Bad kidneys. I'm in poor health. So before I'd wish to be hot, I'd wish to be healthy.

I'd want to wish for some sort of way to have unlimited money. I feel like despite what people say, money does buy happiness, and it'd solve a lot of my problems.

And I'd want my 3rd wish to be to free the genie. I'd feel way too guilty if I didn't free the genie.

What would you wish for?

This is a post I definitely wish I wasn't making. My poor little @CrosseyeTheCat has passed. So now. A eulogy for my bestest pal. It will not be good enough. He deserved more.

Crosseye was a feral cat who was born about 13 years ago in my neighborhood. His mom was feral. His brothers and sisters were feral. But for some reason, he loved me. As he grew up, he'd wait at my door for me to get home from work so he could come in the house and hang out with me. Once he learned what my car looked like, he'd see me coming and he'd sprint behind me, every day. When it was time for us to move, I simply picked him up---a feral cat--- and put him in my car. He knew he could trust me and was happy to come with me.

Crosseye wasn't aware he was a cat. He behaved more like a dog in that he'd chew on my shoes and eat my students' homework. He behaved more like a human in that he'd sit in a dining room chair, upright, on his hind legs, with his paws perched on the table like a small child. He'd get into Halloween candy and eat it. I took suckers from him more than once. He'd try to drink my coffee. He liked taking selfies. He understood English and would follow pretty much any command I gave him. He greeted me EVERY SINGLE day after work. He always came to see me. He came to bed with me every night. He sat with me in my office while I worked or played video games. He got me through losing 3 of my grandparents, a high risk pregnancy, losing my best friend, grad school, my son's car accident, a jury duty sequestration, losing my niece, and Covid. He was TRULY an emotional support animal. 

He had a personality that I have never, ever seen, in any other cat I've had, and I've had cats my entire life.

To say I am brokenhearted would be a gross understatement. I sat next to him on the floor, petting him and ugly crying for at least 2 hours straight.

Until he went cold.

My eyes are swelling shut.

He was like my 3rd kid. I don't care how dumb that sounds to those of you without pets. I loved him like a child. There is a hole in my heart now, that will never, ever be filled. He will always be missing. My sweet little guy. I loved him so much. My life will never be the same without him.

For those who are curious how it happened, he went back to the vet for more x-rays yesterday where she told us it was looking like lymphoma. He was going to have an ultrasound and biopsy on Monday. We were preparing to take out a loan to pay for his chemotherapy. We talked about it all morning. Yall just don't understand how much we considered him part of our family. We honestly think the vet visit just stressed him out so much that he passed. He received steroids and antibiotics which he's had before and I don't think killed him. He received a very low dose of something for his nerves because he was so stressed out. I don't feel it was that either. He ate the wet food we made for him at home and was walking around and meowing at us as usual about 45 minutes before he passed. I found him under my bed where he has been normally sleeping, and in a sleeping position. I think he had a heart attack and died in his sleep.

Thanks to everyone who kept him in your thoughts and prayers this last month and checked in on him.

It means a lot. 

@FUNKbrs @DamnedByFate it is now our sworn duty to continue to immortalize him through memes.

May he ALWAYS goddamnit @wegra

Also, @TomFulp, Crosseye's account will continue to support newgrounds financially. It's what he would have wanted.

Well. I am. 🤷‍♀️

@CrosseyeTheCat is really sick 🥺

He's got some sort of rare fungal infection in his lungs.

He's starting treatment today, but he's got a 50/50 chance of surviving.

He's acting mostly normal so I just went and got tons of toys and treats for him in case he doesn't pull through. I want his last days to be happy.

Yall say some prayers or send positive thoughts or sacrifice a goat or blood magic or whatever tf

My poor kitty. I've had him like 13 years now. He's my best friend.

I love him more than most of my family.

You won't be able to find anything on the media about this but I'm giving you guys a heads up because it just keeps getting worse and worse.

Don't visit New Orleans right now.

I love New Orleans. I love the French Quarter. I love having beignets at Cafe du Monde on the Mississippi River at sunrise.

I love the aquarium, the zoo, the museums, the culture.

Do NOT visit New Orleans right now.

The crime is out of control to a point I'd compare it to like a dystopia in a video game or some shit.

You will be mugged or murdered in broad daylight in the middle of the city.

In front of a cop.

The average response for 911 calls right now is between 2-6 hours and if no one died, they don't even show up.

Like if you get carjacked, they just tell you to fill out a form online.

They will specifically seek out folks with a New York or Boston accent. They love mugging Yankees.

The media is doing a great job keeping the situation hush hush, but as a Louisiana resident, I probably won't be back to New Orleans for years.

My endocrinologist is down there and luckily he's willing to do FaceTime appointments with me via Oschners.

If you MUST come down here for Mardi Gras or whatever, hit up a smaller city like Lafayette or Carencro or anywhere in southeast Louisiana that is not New Orleans. You can still party and go to parades and drink and get amazing Cajun Creole food without dying.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

I have stupid damn covid again. My head is killing me. Meanwhile, @poxpower got to go to a potato store today. It was literally called the Potato Store

So freaking unfair

This baby bunny is living outside the building at work.

I want to pick it up so bad!!!!!

LOOK HOW FREAKING CUTE IT IS!

@voicesbycorey told me to buy all of this, so I did, BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST AND I VALUE HIS OPINION

anyway I have no idea what I am doing. Please look at my settings and listen to this sample I uploaded and offer any advice, I don't know how to use this stuff.

https://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/project/1916190

That's all I've been doing. Bout to head back up there now. I'm exhausted 😣